Researchers in the field of cosmetology have quietly been making advances toward integrating quantum-mechanical principles into general cosmetological theory. Much progress has been made sing the “Big bangs” theory that held sway during the 1980s. Current thinking on the concept of wave-follicle duality has implications that reach far beyond the beauty salon.
Although cosmetology has been studied since the ancient Egyptians, the field did not become truly scientific until the discovery of quarks with beauty. Combined with the work of _______________ in formulating the quantum unit of beauty (the millihelen), which allowed for accurate measurement of cosmetological phenomena, that discovery laid the basis for a systematic framework of quantum cosmetological theory.
The application of quantum-mechanical principles began to explain many puzzling aspects of cosmetology. For example, under the Observer Principle, a haircut exists as a superposition of both good and bad until it has been observed by a friend, at which point the wave function collapses.
This is the beginning of a very silly and probably unpublishable parody. I wrote it last Saturday.