The other day I said I was still undecided if the drastically shorter prologue was better. That evening, I had an idea, and over the past couple of days I added a new scene of about 400 words. I now am sure it’s better.
Today I wrote ten pages of a Battlestar Galactica TV script for my TV-writing class. Tomorrow I’m back to finishing up the last few details for Heir of the Line.
For an explanation of what that means, see http://papersky.livejournal.com/318273.html.
The following story of mine first appeared in the Probability Zero feature of the December 2006 issue of Analog Science Fiction and Fact.
Upgrade
by Eric James Stone
Through the camera in the waiting room, Harry watched the customer. “Mr. Smith” was standing stiffly, ignoring the chairs and the table full of magazines. Though dressed in jeans and a gray sweatshirt, Smith wore an expensive privacy veil — one that fuzzed the picture even of Harry’s high-end Sony equipment.
Harry smiled. Some body upgrades were more acceptable than others — NeverSleep was popular among executives and lawyers, and artificial eyes had become a fashion statement after several Hollywood stars had gotten them. Something like a brain job was an embarrassment: it meant you weren’t smart enough with what nature gave you.
Despite the political controversy over upgrades, NHCA insurance would cover most of the cost. But hospitals had to report upgrades to the National Health Care Administration. For privacy, you had to go private. And private took a lot of money.
Several people who have read the prologue of my novel have felt that it was too long, and that the action sequences were too detailed. It was originally 7400 words. I had trimmed it down to 7200 with some minor tweaks. But today I took an axe to it. (Of course, to cut it substantially, I had to do quite a bit of rewriting as well.) But it now stands at 3500 words — 47% of the original word count. That’s slightly more, percentagewise, than I cut my short story “Upgrade” before selling it to Analog. Obviously that worked for “Upgrade.” I’m still undecided if the drastically shorter prologue is better.
And speaking of “Upgrade,” I think I’m going to make that story available in honor of International Pixel-Stained Technopeasant Day.
I’ve finished making all the line edit changes suggested in the feedback from two writers’ groups and others who read the whole novel.
I have just a few things left to do before I’m done, and it’ll be ready to send out.
The bad news is that my company decided to do some restructuring and restructured me out of a job, along with a dozen or so others.
So after seven years, nine months and three weeks of working for Direct Communications/Northsky.com/About.com/About/Primedia/United Online, I’m looking for something new. I’ll be pondering my options over the next few days.
“I’m sick and tired of all these stupid things that have been happening to me, and somebody better do something about it soon!” — Prudy Perkins in Support Your Local Sheriff
I blame George W. Bush and his refusal to back the Kyoto Treaty!*
*Not really. I blame Harry Reid and Nansy Pelosi. The Democrats take over Congress, and less than three months later, I’m out of a job. Coincidence? I think not!*
*Not really.
Tangent Online has reviewed my story “Tabloid Reporter to the Stars.”
A taste:
This is solid science fiction, full of speculative technology, alien environments, and the sheer wonder of discovery. The mechanics of alien life are particularly intriguing. Interspersing journalistic reports with the narrative, the author deftly weaves exposition and backstory into the action without impeding the storys brisk pace. The richness of the universe described here is worthy of a novel.
If you haven’t read the story yet, you can find it here. It only costs $2.50 to buy the issue. If you can’t afford it, email me and I’ll send you a gift certificate.
The health insurance plan I have through my work processed the claim for my emergency room visit and gall bladder removal surgery. They approved everything, with one exception: a $780 charge for general anesthesia.
Ouch!
According to the first footnote on the Explanation of Benefits:
Your plan benefits do not cover all services. The service noted above is not covered. Please read your plan booklet for details.
Naturally, this made me want to read my plan booklet, because it seemed to me that not covering anesthesia during surgery was a rather large thing to leave out of a medical plan. But I don’t have a copy of my plan booklet. So I asked the local HR person at my office. No plan booklet. I called the corporate HR office. They don’t have a copy of the plan booklet, either.
Apparently, no one at my company knows exactly what is covered by our medical plan.
But it gets better. There was a second footnote regarding the denial of the claim:
Your plan excludes coverage for services related to weight control, including surgical procedures primarily intended to control weight or treat obesity, including morbid obesity.
Riiiiiight. That’s the primary reason why I wanted the anesthesia — to lose weight. The whole being-unconscious-during-painful-surgery thing was merely secondary.
I called the insurance company about the denial of the claim, and the customer service representative burst into laughter. Fortunately, it was the good kind of laughter, rather than the evil, maniacal laughter one generally expects from an insurance company. She said it was clearly a mistake and that they would reprocess the claim.
I want to thank everyone who commented on my original post, both on my regular blog and on my Livejournal mirror. Several commenters raised issues that I wanted to respond to in detail.
In the Codexian Idol contest, I made it to the final round, but did not place in the top three. Still, the contest forced me to write a new story, something I hadn’t done in months. It’s called “Attitude Adjustment,” and I think it has potential if I fix a few problems.
James Maxey, who beat edged me out to win first place in last year’s contest, won again this year. He expressed admiration that I had finished my story despite my gall bladder removal, and suggested that I say the following in my cover letter when sending it out:
I wrote this story while recovering from getting stabbed four times in the gut by a masked man with a very sharp knife. He took all my money, so it would really help if you could send me a large check in exchange for my humble tale.
I have a follow-up appointment with the surgeon tomorrow, but unless there are some surprises, he’s going to tell me what I already know: I’m making a very good recovery from the surgery. The four tiny incisions seem to be healing up nicely, and I haven’t taken any Lortab for the pain since Tuesday night, and not even ibuprofin since Friday. I now only experience some minor pain when bending over or otherwise compressing the area around my navel (which is the location of one of the incisions).
My author friend Jay Lake blogged about a Newsweek poll that says 48% of the public reject the “scientific theory of evolution.” (He has more on evolution here.) He blames Republicans.
But I think at least a portion of the blame lies with the secularists who insist on making the theory of evolution anti-God, at least as it is taught in public schools. And many people, if forced to choose between their belief in God and their belief in a scientific theory, will choose God. (That’s not necessarily an irrational choice. The theory of evolution can’t send you to Hell for not believing in it.)
