Thanks to Netflix.com, the Sci-Fi Channel, and a couple of large internet downloads, over the past year I have managed to watch seven seasons of Stargate SG-1, so I have now caught up to the broadcasts. The eighth season starts in a couple of months.

SG-1 has its flaws, mostly of the type common to SF TV shows in general. (Aliens who speak English without having had contact with humans before unless it’s convenient for plot reasons to have difficulty communicating, bad but convenient science, etc.) But I’ve come to the conclusion that, if one wishes to have any science fiction to watch on TV, it is necessary to make allowances for such conveniences of storytelling.

I’ve been thinking about why I like Stargate SG-1 so much, and I’ve decided that it’s because of its theme. (Not the music — although I think it’s one of the better TV themes out there; of course, it was a movie theme first.) And it’s not the theme of “plucky humans who stand up to the more advanced aliens.”

As I see it, SG-1 is a show about loyalty. Many episodes deal with what lengths the members of the SG-1 team will go to in order to help each other. Their loyalty also extends to their superior (General Hammond) and he is loyal to them in return.

But it’s more than just personal loyalty. There is loyalty to their country, to the Earth, and to humanity in general (since there are hundreds of worlds populated by enslaved humans.) There is loyalty to their alien allies.

And there is loyalty to principles of freedom and decency.

I like that theme. And so the creators of Stargate SG-1 have themselves a loyal fan.

I saw Van Helsing last night. I was surprised at its tone; from the previews I hadn’t expected something quite so tongue-in-cheek. It’s an enjoyable movie, and not as predictable as I thought it was going to be. The special effects are well done, and there’s plenty of action and humor.

Verdict: It’s not as good as The Mummy, but still a good horror/action/comedy.

UPDATE: Fellow Baylor law grad Jim Dedman hated it. So, to aid you in determining which of us is right, here are two things to remember:

• He writes screenplays.
  
• I enjoyed watching Hercules and Xena.
  

Stan Schmidt, the editor of Analog, sent me a personal rejection letter explaining why he was going to pass on the story I sent him in March, but that he was looking forward to my next.

So tomorrow I mail him my next.

I don’t recall having heard of him until I ran across this web page. Apparently he was a playwright in the 1500′s who wrote some plays with which I am unfamiliar. But he was also an epigramist, and he wrote a book of proverbs. Many of them, of course, may have been common sayings at the time, but his rendition of them is the earliest record we have of them in English.

And even if you’ve never heard of John Heywood, you’ve heard some of his proverbs (or more modern versions of them). For example:

Haste maketh waste.

Look ere ye leape.

The fat is in the fire.

When the sunne shineth, make hay.

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On the way back from San Diego, I stopped off in Las Vegas to go to Star Trek: The Experience and, um, experience their new attraction: Borg Invasion 4-D. (“The fourth dimension is interaction!”)

While it was enjoyable, it was a bit of a disappointment.

When I first went to their Klingon Encounter attraction several years ago, I was grinning ear to ear when it was over. At the time, it was the best simulator ride I’d ever been on — and it still is.

Borg Invasion is not up to that standard. I have been to better 3-D-movie type attractions (“Honey, I Shrunk the Audience,” “Terminator 2 3-D”) and a better interactive attractions (the aforementiond “Honey…” and “Alien Encounter.”)

In fact, Disney World’s Alien Encounter is what I was hoping Borg Invasion would be like. AE was a heart-poundingly scary experience, and I loved it.

However, as long as you don’t have high expectations, Borg Invasion 4-D is an enjoyable ride, and of course, you can still go to the Klingon Encounter part of the Experience.

A man was walking in a city when he spotted a restaurant with a big sign in the window that said, “Order anything you want. If we don’t have it, we’ll pay you $500.”

Thinking it would be an easy way to make $500, the man walks in, sits down, and tells the waiter he wants an elephant-ear sandwich.

The waiter goes back to the restaurant manager’s office and says, “Looks like we’re going to have to pay out that $500. Some guy just ordered an elephant-ear sandwich.”

The manager says, “But we just got a bunch of elephant ears in this morning!”

The waiter says, “Yeah, but we’ve run out of those big buns.”

[Insert laugh track here.]

There’s a reason I decided to tell that joke. After her play, I joined Carolyn and some of her friends who had also watched the play and we went to a restaurant called Extraordinary Desserts.

And the desserts were good. But…
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I drove down to San Diego last week to see my sister Carolyn in the Alan Ayckbourn play “Relatively Speaking.” The play is a very funny comedy of mistaken identity, and if you get a chance to see it sometime, I’m sure you’ll enjoy it.

Carolyn did a fantastic job in the role of Sheila; there were times she got a laugh just for the way she moved her eyes. I can see why she enjoyed playing this part.

The rest of the cast did well, particularly Matt Gaydos, who played the husband of Carolyn’s character.

When I got back from my trip to San Diego, I found a rejection letter from F&SF. I’m not sure whether it arrived on Thursday, Friday, or Saturday, so I’m splitting the difference and calling it a total of 18 days, which is ten days longer than my previous submission.

The rejection letter was from the editor, not the slush pile reader, so at least I’m making progress.

Now I have to figure out where to send the story. Analog still seems to be overstocked on longer work — and I’m still waiting for a response to my March 3 submission there, anyway.